Talking pet

Task for this week: to write about what your pet would say to you if (s)he could speak perfect English.

Just so you know

I tolerate you rubbing me
Behind the ears
Whilst I’m curled up on your lap
When all I really want is
For you to stop
So I can have a nap

I’m fed up of you calling me
“Sweetie”
When Ruby is my name
I’m not your boyfriend
Or child
And it’s really rather lame.

I find it offensive that
I’m not allowed
Allowed free reign of the house / In the upstairs rooms on my own
As I’m perfectly capable
Of exploring
Every room – daintily as a mouse / Alone.

I can’t understand why you
Don’t feed me
Or let me stay overnight
When you know
I want you to adopt me
– It really is a slight.